How to Use the Directory

Welcome to the Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Loss Directory. This blog is maintained by volunteers to act like a "telephone book" for blogs dealing with the loss of a baby. It is open to anyone who has ever lost a baby in any way - we do not discriminate by age of your baby or circumstance of your loss. If you think you belong here, then we think you belong here.

When you submit your blog, it is manually added to the list, so it may take some time for it to appear on the list. When you submit your information as requested below, it is easier to spot those emails that have been redirected into the spam mail.

Blogs are listed by category of loss. This is to help you find blogs that deal with circumstances that may be similar to yours. That being said, it can be a moving and healing experience to read the blogs of people who's loss is not similar to yours. You are welcome to read any of the blogs listed here.

Though there could be literally thousands of categories of loss, we have created 4 broad categories: before 20 weeks, after 20 weeks, after birth, and medical termination. Please note that most blogs dealing with extreme prematurity are listed in the "after birth" category even though the gestational age might suggest a different category.

As a warning to those feeling particularly fragile, many of the blogs listed here discuss living children or subsequent pregnancies. In the sidebar links, those blogs are usually marked with an asterisk(*). However, the circumstances of individual bloggers will change, and sometimes the listings do not get updated. It is possible to encounter pictures of living children or pregnant bellies on the blogs listed here.

We also have a list of resources (books), online links, and online publications that you may find useful. Scroll all the way to the bottom of the page to see the full listing of links.

We are so sorry the loss of a beloved child has brought you here. We hope that you will find some solace within the community that has gathered.
Please help us set up this resource for grieving families by:


A. Submitting your blog information
(Email Subject: Please Add My Blog)
  • The link to your blog
  • The title of your blog
  • The topic of your blog (see sidebar - Personal Blogs)
  • If your blog discusses living children or subsequent pregnancy after loss

B. Submitting links to helpful web resources
(Email Subject: Please Add This Link)

C. Submitting titles of helpful reading materials or videos/films
(Email Subject: Please Add This Resource)

D. Adding a link to this site from your blog


Friday, August 31, 2007

Delayed grief

Rachel's Vineyard offers support for people grieving losses in life
by Mary Steichen, 30 Aug 2007

Once a week, I look forward to lending a hand at a crisis pregnancy center. For me, it's a good way to give back to the community that has blessed me so richly. And it helps keep me grounded. I need a reality check once in a while to maintain a spirit of gratitude.

This week, I began thinking about some of the pain and hard times that our volunteer army of dedicated Oklahoma women witness as we strive to help girls in need. Many are frightened or feel alone. Many have had previous abortions or are contemplating one. Some are considering placing their baby for adoption. Often they are struggling with issues such as poverty, rejection, career conflicts, addictions or unhealthy relationships.

Preparing for this column, a question came to mind: "Do women and men continue to grieve these types of issues in their senior years?” Do we mistakenly believe that, as we age, these memories simply fade away? Perhaps many of us buy into the old saying: "Time heals all wounds.” The contrary is true.

Associate Director Susan Lepak of the Office of Family Life in Oklahoma City provided insight on this emotional, often overlooked topic.

"It's quite typical,” she said, "for grieving to surface 20-plus years after an abortion, miscarriage, stillbirth or placing a child for adoption.” This is because women finally reach a time in their lives when they are not so busy raising a family or pursuing a career.

"Menopause contributes, too. They look back at occurrences during their reproductive years, and may experience grief over choices that led to the loss of a child. Sometimes having grandchildren may also trigger grief. More


Marie said...

This is such a complicated issue, My Aunt just loss a baby and she was devastated. A week ago she got a Memorial Tree from a family friend and last weekend we whent to see the tree location at a near by National Forest...It was very emotional but a healing moment for her. so is in the small details that comfort comes from. As for the tree company their site is - but there are alot of sites that offer the service.



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