How to Use the Directory

Welcome to the Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Loss Directory. This blog is maintained by volunteers to act like a "telephone book" for blogs dealing with the loss of a baby. It is open to anyone who has ever lost a baby in any way - we do not discriminate by age of your baby or circumstance of your loss. If you think you belong here, then we think you belong here.

When you submit your blog, it is manually added to the list, so it may take some time for it to appear on the list. When you submit your information as requested below, it is easier to spot those emails that have been redirected into the spam mail.

Blogs are listed by category of loss. This is to help you find blogs that deal with circumstances that may be similar to yours. That being said, it can be a moving and healing experience to read the blogs of people who's loss is not similar to yours. You are welcome to read any of the blogs listed here.

Though there could be literally thousands of categories of loss, we have created 4 broad categories: before 20 weeks, after 20 weeks, after birth, and medical termination. Please note that most blogs dealing with extreme prematurity are listed in the "after birth" category even though the gestational age might suggest a different category.

As a warning to those feeling particularly fragile, many of the blogs listed here discuss living children or subsequent pregnancies. In the sidebar links, those blogs are usually marked with an asterisk(*). However, the circumstances of individual bloggers will change, and sometimes the listings do not get updated. It is possible to encounter pictures of living children or pregnant bellies on the blogs listed here.

We also have a list of resources (books), online links, and online publications that you may find useful. Scroll all the way to the bottom of the page to see the full listing of links.

We are so sorry the loss of a beloved child has brought you here. We hope that you will find some solace within the community that has gathered.
Please help us set up this resource for grieving families by:


A. Submitting your blog information
(Email Subject: Please Add My Blog)
  • The link to your blog
  • The title of your blog
  • The topic of your blog (see sidebar - Personal Blogs)
  • If your blog discusses living children or subsequent pregnancy after loss

B. Submitting links to helpful web resources
(Email Subject: Please Add This Link)

C. Submitting titles of helpful reading materials or videos/films
(Email Subject: Please Add This Resource)

D. Adding a link to this site from your blog


Saturday, April 19, 2008

San Fransisco Chronicle Stories


The stillbirth of a baby is a devastating occurrence. When are we going to find out why it happens? And when will we start talking about it?

Life changes when you see a pair of pink lines on a pregnancy test strip. If it's good news, your life becomes a 38-week countdown to holding your future, safely swaddled in your arms. You read books, you post sonogram pictures on the fridge, you make plans for a nursery, you put your name on child care center waiting lists.

[Listen to Podcast]

You don't plan for the doctor to tell you your future has no heartbeat. You don't plan to deliver a baby who will never open his eyes. You don't plan on coming home with an urn of ashes instead of a bag of diapers. (continue reading)


With worry a constant companion, the author embarks on another pregnancy, post-stillbirth

It can't happen again.

That's what my doctor told me. She said stillbirth is such a rare occurrence that it never happens twice.

I knew she was wrong. I'd seen the stories of women with multiple losses on online message boards. I'd read studies showing women who have had one stillbirth are at an increased risk for another.

Besides, if subsequent losses weren't possible, why designate women with a prior stillbirth as high risk or recommend increased fetal monitoring? Is it because no doctor wants to be blamed for overlooking something a second time around? Or is it because women with a loss begin to question the gap in knowledge in a system they trusted with the lives of their babies?
I didn't say anything to her. I didn't know how.

I knew my doctor said it to reassure me that this time my baby would live. She didn't want me to worry.

What she didn't realize, and what every parent who has lost a child knows to be the only hard-and-fast rule of a subsequent pregnancy, is that worry and doubt are as constant a companion as prenatal vitamins. Nothing a doctor says or does causes the worry.

It has been there since the first time I thought about getting pregnant again.

It will be there until I hold a living, breathing baby in my arms.

Nine months is a long time to wait to find out if this time it'll be different. It's hell. But hell with hope and a heartbeat.
(continue reading)

Helping with a Research Project

We are conducting a study about medical bad news delivery and the communication between patient and care provider. We are particularly interested in looking at communication about stillbirth diagnosis as well as parents who have had a neonatal death (death of a baby less than 28 days after birth) or a pregnancy loss diagnosis. We are hoping to learn more about this kind of communication and offer insights to care-providers about the effects of these interactions.

We would like to express our sincere sympathy for your loss. If you are interested in sharing information about your diagnosis, we invite you to fill out a questionnaire about your experiences when you were given the news of the death of your baby. The survey is confidential. Data collected will be used in completion of a master’s program at San Francisco State University.

-This study is open to men and women 18 or older.
-The study is available online at:

For more information, email Suzanne Pullen at

New Blogs Recently Submitted

A warm welcome to the following Bloggers: