How to Use the Directory

Welcome to the Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Loss Directory. This blog is maintained by volunteers to act like a "telephone book" for blogs dealing with the loss of a baby. It is open to anyone who has ever lost a baby in any way - we do not discriminate by age of your baby or circumstance of your loss. If you think you belong here, then we think you belong here.

When you submit your blog, it is manually added to the list, so it may take some time for it to appear on the list. When you submit your information as requested below, it is easier to spot those emails that have been redirected into the spam mail.

Blogs are listed by category of loss. This is to help you find blogs that deal with circumstances that may be similar to yours. That being said, it can be a moving and healing experience to read the blogs of people who's loss is not similar to yours. You are welcome to read any of the blogs listed here.

Though there could be literally thousands of categories of loss, we have created 4 broad categories: before 20 weeks, after 20 weeks, after birth, and medical termination. Please note that most blogs dealing with extreme prematurity are listed in the "after birth" category even though the gestational age might suggest a different category.

As a warning to those feeling particularly fragile, many of the blogs listed here discuss living children or subsequent pregnancies. In the sidebar links, those blogs are usually marked with an asterisk(*). However, the circumstances of individual bloggers will change, and sometimes the listings do not get updated. It is possible to encounter pictures of living children or pregnant bellies on the blogs listed here.

We also have a list of resources (books), online links, and online publications that you may find useful. Scroll all the way to the bottom of the page to see the full listing of links.

We are so sorry the loss of a beloved child has brought you here. We hope that you will find some solace within the community that has gathered.
Please help us set up this resource for grieving families by:


A. Submitting your blog information
(Email Subject: Please Add My Blog)
  • The link to your blog
  • The title of your blog
  • The topic of your blog (see sidebar - Personal Blogs)
  • If your blog discusses living children or subsequent pregnancy after loss

B. Submitting links to helpful web resources
(Email Subject: Please Add This Link)

C. Submitting titles of helpful reading materials or videos/films
(Email Subject: Please Add This Resource)

D. Adding a link to this site from your blog


Friday, April 20, 2007

California: Certificates wanted for stillborn babies

Abel Maldonado is backing a proposal to issue special documents to parents

By Bob Cuddy

For Sunita and Jason Olazabal, the pregnancy had been “beautiful,” as Jason puts it. Thirty-eight weeks with no problems. But two weeks before the due date last year, the couple went in for a routine checkup. The doctor could not find a fetal heartbeat. The parents-tobe saw a second doctor: still no heartbeat. Doctors induced labor, and 24 hours later Soraya Carolina Olazabal was born— not breathing.

Thus, the Olazabals joined the 3,000 other California families each year who give birth to a stillborn child. There are 39,000 stillbirths annually nationwide — one in every 100 births. Until now, such parents have been issued a death certificate. But a nationwide movement to recognize their pain as well as acknowledge the child has reached the California Legislature, after prevailing in 18 states. However, it has become caught up in the politics of abortion.

The proposal is Senate Bill 850, known as the Missing Angels Act. It would allow parents whose children were stillborn to receive a “certificate of birth resulting in stillbirth.”The bill passed the Senate Health Committee on Wednesday after hours of negotiation. It would allow families to receive a “certificate of still birth.” The bill is expected to move forward to the Senate Judiciary Committee later this month.

Sen. Abel Maldonado, R-Santa Maria, a chief sponsor, says he decided to carry the bill after hearing stories of women who have been affected. And as the father of four children, he says he understands how painful it would be to lose a pregnancy.

The bill’s proponents say it helps comfort the parents who are devastated by the loss of their child. Jason Olazabal, whose child was stillborn Nov. 3, says it is a shattering experience. Having nothing left but a death certificate is a bleak outcome, he says.

Recovering from the stillbirth, he says five months after the experience, is still “moment to moment.When we left the hospital, it was very tough. Early on, it was very somber; now the days are better.”

“Her life, as short as it was, was real,” he says of his child.Though waning, grief can be triggered unexpectedly, he says. “Walking down the street and seeing a baby carriage can trigger it,” he says. Going to a Dodgers game this spring brought up memories from a year ago, when he and his wife had planned to attend a game this year with their new baby, clad in pink.

The certificate won’t bring back their child, but it will acknowledge the child’s existence, he says. “It’s a little something else.” Therein, opponents say, lies the potential problem. “We want to be compassionate, and we totally empathize with women who have experienced this,” says Ana Sandoval, with the Planned Parenthood Affiliates of California. “But any time you’re dealing with vital statistics, there can be unintended consequences.”

Opponents fear that the bill has the potential to change the legal definition of when a fetus becomes a person, which could lead to limits on a woman’s reproductive rights. Sandoval’s organization is working with Maldonado and other legislators to bridge this gap.To the Olazabals, the political discussion is academic. To them, this is about the pain of having a stillborn child. They have formed a support group in Santa Monica where they live, and have found other parents who have gone through the same heartbreak.

After Wednesday’s committee vote, Maldonado said in a written statement he was “frustrated that we had to concede to opposing groups so much.”

Staff writer AnnMarie Cornejo contributed to this report.


delphi said...

I appreciate Sen. Abel Maldonado's support on this greatly... but I always bristle when who hasn't been there says they "understand" simply because the have living children. No, you don't understand completely, but I am glad of that for your sake. And thank you for having the empathy to try to understand.

Angie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
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