How to Use the Directory

Welcome to the Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Loss Directory. This blog is maintained by volunteers to act like a "telephone book" for blogs dealing with the loss of a baby. It is open to anyone who has ever lost a baby in any way - we do not discriminate by age of your baby or circumstance of your loss. If you think you belong here, then we think you belong here.

When you submit your blog, it is manually added to the list, so it may take some time for it to appear on the list. When you submit your information as requested below, it is easier to spot those emails that have been redirected into the spam mail.

Blogs are listed by category of loss. This is to help you find blogs that deal with circumstances that may be similar to yours. That being said, it can be a moving and healing experience to read the blogs of people who's loss is not similar to yours. You are welcome to read any of the blogs listed here.

Though there could be literally thousands of categories of loss, we have created 4 broad categories: before 20 weeks, after 20 weeks, after birth, and medical termination. Please note that most blogs dealing with extreme prematurity are listed in the "after birth" category even though the gestational age might suggest a different category.

As a warning to those feeling particularly fragile, many of the blogs listed here discuss living children or subsequent pregnancies. In the sidebar links, those blogs are usually marked with an asterisk(*). However, the circumstances of individual bloggers will change, and sometimes the listings do not get updated. It is possible to encounter pictures of living children or pregnant bellies on the blogs listed here.

We also have a list of resources (books), online links, and online publications that you may find useful. Scroll all the way to the bottom of the page to see the full listing of links.

We are so sorry the loss of a beloved child has brought you here. We hope that you will find some solace within the community that has gathered.
Please help us set up this resource for grieving families by:


A. Submitting your blog information
(Email Subject: Please Add My Blog)
  • The link to your blog
  • The title of your blog
  • The topic of your blog (see sidebar - Personal Blogs)
  • If your blog discusses living children or subsequent pregnancy after loss

B. Submitting links to helpful web resources
(Email Subject: Please Add This Link)

C. Submitting titles of helpful reading materials or videos/films
(Email Subject: Please Add This Resource)

D. Adding a link to this site from your blog


Thursday, April 5, 2007

Stillbirth Article: Sacramento Bee

Honoring a life and loss

Sacramento Bee Columnist (Sacramento, California)
Published 12:00 am PDT Wednesday, April 4, 2007

When a child is stillborn, parents are left devastated, but in California, they depart the maternity ward with nothing but a death certificate.

"The government recognizes the death of our son," says Sari Edber, 27, who lives in Los Angeles. "And the government mandates final disposition of the remains.

"I want them to recognize that my son was born. He was real. It would be easy to forget."
In 17 other states, bereaved parents can choose to receive a certificate acknowledging the stillbirth. But not in California -- not yet.

Edber and other members of the Mothers in Sympathy and Support (MISS) Foundation, a group dedicated to aiding families after the death of a child, are determined to change that.

"I wish you could've sat in on some of the meetings we had with these women," says state Sen. Abel Maldonado, R-Santa Maria, who's introducing legislation to give grieving California parents the option of being issued a "Certificate of Birth Resulting in Stillbirth.""When they bring out their albums of pictures, with their hands holding their baby's tiny hand -- my Lord. It's just hard."

Stillbirth occurs an estimated 3,300 times each year in California -- across the country, up to 39,000 times. That's a surprising statistic in a country more accustomed to assuming that every wanted pregnancy has a happy outcome.

"I have four children," says Maldonado. "To see what these women have gone through is hard. They had a baby. They went through the whole process."

And they were left crushed by the loss.

When I wrote in January about a young woman named Catriona Harris -- whose son, Brady, was stillborn and who gave birth to a second child, a daughter named Reilly, last summer -- I heard from dozens of people whose lives, too, had been touched by stillbirth.

One was a man whose first child was stillborn in 1971. The hurt, it seems, never really vanishes, even when healthy babies come along later.

Sari Edber's son, Jacob, was stillborn July 20, 2006.

"He had my nose and my husband's features," says Edber, a teacher and volunteer lobbyist for MISS. "He was a perfect combination of us. He was our firstborn.

"Jacob's a part of our family. We'll have other children, but he'll always be their big brother."
In states where the certificate of stillbirth is already available, more than 70 percent of eligible parents elect to receive it, says Maldonado.

With the "MISSing Angels" bill, he says, "I don't want to say it will provide closure. These parents will never have closure. But there should be a recognition."

A validation, if you will, of their babies' brief existence.

Stillbirth is defined as unintentional fetal death after 20 weeks or more of gestation. The bill specifies that the new certificates aren't meant as proof of life.

"This isn't a pro-life, pro-choice issue," says Maldonado. "It's a personal issue that's important to women who've gone through this."As common as stillbirth is -- affecting as many as one in 100 American pregnancies -- it's amazing that we don't talk about it more. Maybe we'd rather not think about it. But some people don't have a choice."I could talk for hours about why this bill is important," says Edber. "This bill recognizes the fact that I had a son. I gave birth. He was born. He existed."

Under the bill's provisions, California parents who choose the certificate would pay a fee for it.
Catriona Harris would like one.

"Absolutely, it's something I'd want," says Harris, 28, a public relations executive who grew up in Folsom and now lives in Florida. "It's another way of saying our child had a life, even if he only lived inside the womb.

"Right now, we only have one legal document with his name on it. His death certificate."

About the writer:• Anita Creamer's column appears Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays in Scene. Reach her at (916) 321-1136 or
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