How to Use the Directory

Welcome to the Miscarriage, Stillbirth, and Infant Loss Directory. This blog is maintained by volunteers to act like a "telephone book" for blogs dealing with the loss of a baby. It is open to anyone who has ever lost a baby in any way - we do not discriminate by age of your baby or circumstance of your loss. If you think you belong here, then we think you belong here.

When you submit your blog, it is manually added to the list, so it may take some time for it to appear on the list. When you submit your information as requested below, it is easier to spot those emails that have been redirected into the spam mail.

Blogs are listed by category of loss. This is to help you find blogs that deal with circumstances that may be similar to yours. That being said, it can be a moving and healing experience to read the blogs of people who's loss is not similar to yours. You are welcome to read any of the blogs listed here.

Though there could be literally thousands of categories of loss, we have created 4 broad categories: before 20 weeks, after 20 weeks, after birth, and medical termination. Please note that most blogs dealing with extreme prematurity are listed in the "after birth" category even though the gestational age might suggest a different category.

As a warning to those feeling particularly fragile, many of the blogs listed here discuss living children or subsequent pregnancies. In the sidebar links, those blogs are usually marked with an asterisk(*). However, the circumstances of individual bloggers will change, and sometimes the listings do not get updated. It is possible to encounter pictures of living children or pregnant bellies on the blogs listed here.

We also have a list of resources (books), online links, and online publications that you may find useful. Scroll all the way to the bottom of the page to see the full listing of links.

We are so sorry the loss of a beloved child has brought you here. We hope that you will find some solace within the community that has gathered.
Please help us set up this resource for grieving families by:


A. Submitting your blog information
(Email Subject: Please Add My Blog)
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B. Submitting links to helpful web resources
(Email Subject: Please Add This Link)

C. Submitting titles of helpful reading materials or videos/films
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D. Adding a link to this site from your blog


Sunday, November 25, 2007

The Approach of the Holiday Season

We had twins in May, and lost our daughter, Lydia; she was stillborn. We also have 2 older children.

I want to find a way to remember and honor Lydia over the holiday season. This is so important to me especially since it was in December of last year that we discovered we were having twins. We typically get all our children new ornaments for the tree each year, something that represents something special to them that year. I plan on getting Lydia an ornament, too – but I’m not sure what kind. Do I start a tradition and buy her a similar item each year? (An angel, a bird, a teddy bear?)

And what else can I do over the holiday season, to honor her memory? I’d really love to hear what other parents have done or will be doing this year.




Angel Mom said...

I always try and buy a Christmas card with an angel on the front.

I also purchased an angel rubber stamp (the kind used in scrapbooking). I include the stamp on the card where I sign our names. Underneath the stamp I include my angel's initials and her dates. I didn't feel comfortable writing her name along with ours (although there is nothing wrong with that) so this is a way I can include her.

Thru the Samaritan's Purse program, I buy gifts for little girls that are the same age my daughter would be.

I purchase an angel ornament each year.

Olive Lucy Kawecki said...

I too will be giving a gift to a child of the same age as my daughter through a gift giving program.

Christmas was the 1st holiday my daughter and i shared during my pregnancy so i can't imagine not mark the holiday with some special things for her. We will also make her a stocking (a long standing family tradition) We will fill the stocking with notes from family and friends. Which we will take to the cemetery to read.

I will sign her name to every christmas card and gift for the rest of my life.

I have also considered getting her special types of ornaments or kitsch. I already own 15 trees which i pretty much bought last year so i think i will continue with Trees at christmas for her. But i continue to buy whatever strikes my fancy as something she would enjoy or love. perhaps i will go with an elephant...

OH for thanksgiving i used Lucy's stuffie elephant Peanut as a "Lucy Stand in" of sort in photos. this help me a lot.
best of luck with what ever you choose to do.

kate said...

I get Nicolas the same kind of ornament every year -- in our case, the Swarovski little star ornament. I put up a stocking holder for him, but not a stocking. Instead i make a little wreath every year to hang from the hook. I also have alot of ornaments for the tree that people have sent me with his name etc. I use a butterfly stamp on our christmas cards. I actually don't sign the kids names at all(just ours and '& kids') but i put the stamp next to that to represent him.

The first year, it was too hard for me to buy an age-appropriate gift for another child, so i buy age-appropriate clothing instead and give it to charity. (Salvation Army has a thing where families can come in and pick out from the new things that were donated). I have also done memorial donations in his name.

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